The Finale: Good-Bye 20s Part I

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Jan. 18, 2015 (30th Birthday) in San Francisco, CA

Kicking and screaming is how I imagined leaving my twenties. I turned twenty-one four times and twenty-five twice. Celebrating twenty-nine umpteen times seemed imminent.

On Instagram I overused #twentysomething in attempt to suck twenty-something dry. Why though? Is being twenty-something really that great?

Let’s take a brief tour through my twenties. Short, petite, fresh-faced, naive, smarter than most people I knew, and mature for my age… that’s how I entered my twenties. I knew everything, thus ready to take the world by storm. The motto: Can’t tell me nothing!

At twenty-two, I rented a fire engine-red convertible mustang for my birthday extravaganza that rolled Thursday thru Monday. Yolo! I spent a day or two shopping with my brother and then bestie. More than thirty people celebrated with me on Saturday at my dinner party. My costume for the dinner included: Tri-color hair, this (Bebe), that (Juicy Couture), and the other (Hudson). Total cost for the costume? More than $350. Feeling like a baller? Priceless.

The early years were filled with more poor choices that equaled a boatload of mistakes including: losing myself, insecurity, financial ruin, heart-break, depression. My confidence went from 100 to 0 real quick! Unaware, I entered the mid-twenties disheveled, lost, bent, and almost broken. “Single Black female addicted to retail, and well…” I lived that retro Kanye music, like All Falls Down.

As the twenties flew by, I learned that I knew almost nothing I thought I knew. If you’re not there yet, just wait on it. Unlearning a relearning is easier said than done, but so necessary. If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. That’s one of my all-time fave quotes.

My life begged for change. The last quarter of my twenties a light bulb came on and I began saying farewell to people, things, and [insert noun] that I allowed to disturb my happiness and stunt my growth. I chucked up the deuces to people before then, but it rarely included forgiveness. Forgiving others and ourselves is necessary to move forward. Listen to Get it Together by India Arie to get a better understanding of this chapter.

To be continued…

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I don’t lead, I follow.

As kids, being line leader was only thee most important job. When did we stop wanting to be line leader and settle for following?

Did it happened in middle school when most of us decided that fitting in is much cooler than standing out?  Maybe being a leader comes with too much responsibility. What do you think?

I wonder what the world would be like today if people like Dr. King decided not to lead.

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A special thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and President Barack Obama for continuing to lead.

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Thank you for reading. Dream big! xoxo

Stay In Your Lane! Go At Your Own Pace.

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Music playing, curls blowing, I commute through the canyons from the city to the valley. Gorgeous views line my path, it’s easy to forget that I am where I am.

The other day, I found myself driving like a go-cart hugging the curves of the road trying to catch the car in front of me. On occasion, I sail like a cruise ship inhaling the scenery and living in the moment, but I speed up when the car behind me is in a hurry.

As I trailed behind the car ahead, a light blub came on. I remembered that when driving and in life, we have to go at our own pace and stay in our lane. I said to myself, “Self.” Myself said, “Huh?” I said “Do you! Stop worrying about everything else.” 

If I rush my journey to reach those in front or please those behind, I could fall off and they would still be on the road. We have to do what is best for us… there will always be someone ahead and someone behind trying to rush us.

*Please do not use the above as an excuse to slack or be content with mediocrity. I have witnessed “When one door closes, another opens” being used after and individual woke up behind schedule for a interview, then cooked a full-out breakfast instead of making it to the interview. We have to do better.

xoxo

Kelly Rowland Airs Dirty Laundry

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Kelly Rowland serves it up while airing her “Dirty Laundry”.

I’m ecstatic about the woman our girl is becoming. Kelly is like an unofficial big sister to me. Seriously, Destiny’s Child was the music version of Sex and The City. Hell! I quoted lyrics earlier today.

Back to the single… I caught word of “Dirty Laundry” on a friend’s Facebook page. After sharing it there and listening to it more than a handful of times, I had to share it here. Kelly confesses some serious business.

Check out the single below.

Because of Them, We Can…

Last month, in honor of Black History Month photographer Eunique Jones released a new photo each day of African Americans past & present who have opened doors for us.

The influential individuals were portrayed by children and included inspirational quotes. Eunique’s campaign is titled “Because of them, We Can.” I love love love this! It’s a creative way to remember and can be used to teach children with a fresh twist.

Check out some of the photos below. More can be found on the Because of Them, We Can website and are available for purchase. There’s a Facebook page too.

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Rihanna Naked (Official Stay Video)

You can’t make it disappear, stop or go away… Love is pure and honest. Most people have a hard time grasping that concept.

We can’t seem to learn that as much as we don’t want an individual to be with another, we can’t control that. We try driving a wedge between them and it usually causes them to draw closer and adopt the “it’s us against the world” mentality.

How do I know? I’ve been on both sides. As hard as it may be, we have to let people make mistakes and learn for themselves. If you give a person a little space, they can realize that just because you love someone it does not mean that you are meant to be together forever.

Bashing a person causes them to jump into protective mode. When asked for your opinion offer advice free of judgement. Don’t lie, be honest. If you can’t handle the situation, politely distance yourself.

I  said all of that to say that if we get off of RiRi’s head she can look at her life objectively. Hearing that Rihanna & Chris are the new Whitney & Bobby or Tina & Ike is ugh… (insert sad face).

As with most things I am very optimistic about this situation. And I like what i’m reading between the lines in Stay. She is naked literally and figuratively.

Watch the official video here: Rihanna – Stay ft. Mikky Ekko (

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Reading To Kids

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The circuit board was at it again on Saturday. We volunteered to read to students at Alta Loma Elementary School.

This was my fourth or fifth time volunteering with Reading to Kids and the experience is always interesting. You never know what a child will say, they don’t have filters and it’s often entertaining. It’s also fulfilling to see them get excited about reading and receiving a book in such a technological era.

To learn more visit Reading to Kids. And feel free to ask me any questions regarding my experiences.

Justin Timberlake & Destiny’s Child?

Justin Timberlake & Destiny’s Child? Yes, please!

In a open letter to fans, JT announced that he will release a new album titled The 20/20 Experience, this year. Justin has been secretly working on the album since last June. My ears are open and ready to listen. After hearing the new single “Suit & Tie’ featuring Jay Z, it is safe to say that sexy is back & he’s all grown up.

Speaking of grown ups, the ladies of Destiny’s Child are now gorgeous women. My big sisters (in my head) are reuniting for the first time since 2005. They will release Love Songs, a compilation of some of my fav previously recorded tracks & ‘Nuclear’, their new single. The best news is that they will be performing during the halftime show at Super Bowl, YES (doing my happy dance)!

Check out the singles below.

For more info on Justin Timberlake visit: http://countdown.justintimberlake.com/

For more info on Destiny’s Child visit:  http://www.destinyschild.com/